It's deco time!!!

Oh man I am so excited!

Of course I'll miss a few things. I'll miss Dustin like cray cray. I'll miss how pretty the Valley can be. I'll miss the limited amount of culture I guess (however limited it may be, Fairfield has the opposite of.) I'll miss a few Napa friends and I'll be further away from my Santa Rosa friends. But I've always known I wasn't meant to sit around these areas. And this is the start to gettin on outta here. If it means plopping all my shit in a little cheap apartment in Fairfield for a year well, it is what it is. This isn't about getting married. This isn't about friends.  And this isn't about blogging. This is about becoming a better me. This is about realizing how quickly it all can end. I've got too many goals and too much to learn about myself to continue living the way I have been. I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better gilfriend, a better sister, a better peer. I want to be someone people love to be around. And most importantly I want to treat myself the way I deserve to be treated. I can't keep shoving my head further and further up my ass, worrying about the opinions of the unimportant. I can't keep waiting to be healthier or to travel. I'm 25. Time to get with it. I'm going to focus on myself and learn about myself by actively listening to others and shutting the fuck up once and a while. And by staying positive. Things are happening and I am pumped. 

Yeesh....

 Man I totally vomit blogged. I needed a safe place to get all the yucks out. But I've meditated on my apartment wish list and hit delete post and feel MUCH better. I know, I know, my chances of getting this place don't look very promising but wishing is what's keeping me going right now. So what if my soul will be crushed if I don't get approved? All I do is sit around all day dreaming about decorating this place and doing homework on the faux fur rug I'll be buying and cooking and cleaning.

    This place has got a lot of residual 1970's flare to it. I've always felt comfortable in that environment and the majority of my furnishings would fit right in, but I've been needing a change and for the past six months I've been dreaming in PASTEL! Sofia Coppola's version of Marie Antoinette. Heavy tapestry and royal golds. Carved wood framed mirrors and jewels and pinks and blues and florals. Wallpaper and tea roses!!! This place might clash unfortunately. The kitchen's got lots of dark country style wood and the living room's already got great western/mod curtains. I figure saving my money for my lonesome travels next year is more important than filling my void with STUFF. A whole change of all my shit just isn't worth it to me right now. I need to hold out on the great place and go for simplistic, organized, and sensible. Especially since it's Squarefield. So I guess I'm busting out the yellow mustard chair and the giant flower lights. Peace and love mannnn... I know I'll be able to rock it for cheap though. I wonder about a little 1970's/western meets Versailles. Hmmm... you tell me?

God I'm so screwed....

  

High apple pie in the sky.

So Fairfield it is. I guess. But if I'm gonna live in that armpit it better be cute and cheap and exactly what I want. Well I found it. And it is. And if the owners don't approve me I might have to kill someone. Or cry. Crying is more likely. It's just that I have never been able to help getting my hopes up. I'm obsessing and looking up apartment deco and pulling out my file of ideas. I'm trying to send positive vibes but they just didn't seem interested in me. Ugh I hate rejection from people I could care less about. This place is cheap cheap cheap and located in the only nice part of Fairfield I can think of and has tons o' character!! I can bring the cat and have room to spin around in circles if I deem necessary. My fingers are crossed like they never have been before. This place is too perfect for me to not be approved. Why would it come into my life otherwise? Just a little irony pill for me to swallow? Nah.... I'm not buying that. It will be mine because I deserve it and would truly appreciate it and take good care of it. Help me to send good hopes and thoughts in Fairfield's direction!